Re: birds DID NOT evolve from therapods

["Robert G. Tuck Jr." <tuckr@digital.net>]

(Chuckle.)

Does this mean that I must burn the cover of my copy of "Mesozoic Vertebrate
Life," or should I erect a shrine to it (Mary and Micky permitting)?

Nat-shirely, i'll be a-packin' up all them fancy paintin's and purty
pikchoors by Joe Tucciarone, what be hangin' in the space art gallery
outside my office at the plane'ary-um, so's as to protek them in my
apartment an' keep them from prying eyes. Heck, i done bet that i got enuf
room here to stash away yore's, too, an' Tracy Ford's, an' Greg Paul's, an'
Doug Henderson's, an' Steve Czerkas's, an' that upstart feller Bakker's, an'
...

If'n i run out of space, i'm shore my momma and my daddy up in Maryland will
let me shove extra artsy pieces into places like that self-promoting
Holtz-guy's nearby house and that there feller Tompaleo's place in
Baltimore. Shucks, those two cloow-less guys woodn't care less; they done be
all warp't up in aktual re-search stuff 'n' all that, you see. Too involved
in fakts to see the light, you unnerstand.

-= Tuck =-

----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael Skrepnick" <palaeopaint@shaw.ca>
To: "Dinosaur List" <dinosaur@usc.edu>
Sent: Monday, October 15, 2001 11:31 PM
Subject: Re: birds DID NOT evolve from therapods


> WHAT could we ( the birds to dinos camp ) possibly say in response to such
A
> well informed individual, obviously very familiar with vertebrate
metabolism
> and fossil BONE, to the extent he most certainly should be placed at the
> HEAD of the Ruben et al. class for mythologies on the origins of flight.
If
> birds are not directly related to dinosaurs, surely there must be another
> explanation that adequately fills in the evolutionary gaps.  In
> consideration of an alternate theory, I could only make sense of it as
> follows:
>
> Now shurely evrybody kin see the close familiarity in form an funktion
> between yur basic burdlike wing and yur long, unjointed vane like
> Longisquama wing, wich in itself is not unlike that of yur basic dragonfly
> wing... well HOLY GARSH JIMINY CRICKOIDES!!   THAT"S IT.  It almost cost
me
> an anurism, but I believe I've got er figurred out!  GIT OUT YUR PENCILS
> BOY"S! and see if y'all can wistle me up one of yur HOT FIRE
CLADE-O-GRAMS!
> Now as I recall Tom Holtz and myself were diskussin jest a short spell
back
> how UNUSUAL them fethery little fronds on yer basic Pteridophyte style
> plants ( ferns and cycads and such ) resemble cute primitive-like "wings".
> Now I'm a willin ta betchya'll the tee in China, that one fine stormy day,
> millyuns of years back, one Big 'ol bolt'a lightnin shot on down from up
> yonder an "BLAAMMM"...in an example of yer basic "punktuwated equal
ibryum",
> that poor 'ol cycad got a real shot o' juice that transformed those furly
> little fronds into the makins of a primitive, but suffishantly airborne
> critter that is yer typical ancient form of dragonfly ( where d'ya think
the
> term "evolushun-AIRY" come frum anyway?).  Well ya'll knowed that alota
them
> bugs an dragonflys an such, are sumwhat sweet on moltin off their external
> carpusses as they grow and mutate thru out their busy little lives.  Now
it
> aint too much of a stretch to suppose that one day, one of them varmints
> made the transition into yer basic Longisquaminal stage of development
(same
> sort of wing struktur, don't ya see!).  Why after that, any fool kin see
> that the next most logikal thing would be to upgrade directly into yer
basic
> funktional flyin bird.  All ya gotta do is brake those rigid dragonfly
wing
> struts in several places by accident, an if they don't heal right away,
why
> its easy enuff to see how these were modified into yer basic artikulatin
> joints!  Now the most mysteryus part of the evulushun-airy process is how
> one of them thar smarter members of the burd famly upgraded hisself to the
> rank of Colonel. You know who I'm talkin about...Colonel Sanders of
Kentuky
> Fried Chiken fame.  Now finally the most ironical parta this here story is
> how the King of all the Dinosaurs (T-rex) got deposed from his throne by
the
> Colonel ( Sanders) if you been followin along. Somehow I think in reality
> the leader of the birds and the king of the dinosaurs are really in
kahoots
> together!  Well what d"ya think about that? YOU BOYS GOT THAT THERE
> CLADE-O-GRAM ABOUT SET TO PAPER YET.  I think it perty much covers it all
in
> one big easy nutshell!  I think I'm a gonna throw down my brushes and git
me
> one'o them thar Ph & d's !!! I can't wait to git started aworkin on them
> ther A pods...
>
> Now Mary, you git away from that big red button,,, don't you push that
> y"hear me.  I can't see why I shood be timed out jest fer speekin my
miiiiI
> I I I I I I I I I  I  I  I  I  I   N   N  N   .  .    .      .      .
.
>
>
> yurs truly
>
> Mikul ( the pale yo artist ) Skrepnik
>