P.S. to: Kong 2005 - A Big......Disappointment....why?...let me count the ways...

[bucketfoot-al@justice.com]

Forgive me folks.  My earlier review of this flick
omitted two classic scenes without discussing which I
know that you will walk away disappointed....

First, the wonderful scene where the previously
(self-admittedly) non-hero type cowardly leading actor
of the 'movie within a movie' starts swinging on lianas
while - one-handedly - shooting off his 30 cal. Tommy
Gun with such precision that he slays a legion of 
assorted giant insects...what a man!!  I guess he met
up with Neo and took the green - or was it the red -
pill since we saw him last!!

Secondly, how about the young cabin boy, who's (again
self-admittedly) NEVER shot a rifle, taking another
Tommy Gun and - at point blank range - shooting about a
dozen giant bugs off of Driscoll, all the while never
even grazing him, although Driscoll is spending the
entire time gyrating the Mamba as if his life depended
on it (and also managing to avoid not only the large
caliber machine gun bullets whizzing past every part of
his body, but also the seemingly hungry jaws of all of
the giant crickets crawling all over him - do you think
that, just maybe, they were playing with him?)

And how about the natives, who scatter as the rescue
party starts firing off their guns, and never again
return?  Where'd they all go?  And where are all of the
(presumed) dead bodies of the natives - unless of
course the rescue party, having just had a couple of
their number brutally murdered by the savages, and
having had Ann mysteriously kidnapped (X-Files-like) by
a savage whose swimming skills apparently surpassed
Johnny Weismuller's in order to enable him to first,
summersault over the rocks, and then swim in 30-foot
seas with one arm around Ann, just shot their guns in
the air?  I guess that, after portraying the natives as
cannibalistic savages, what with plates distending
their upper lips and (many) bones through their
noses/ears, and after having all of their priestesses
doing their best
"Ray-Charles-hopped-up-on-LSD-while-rolling-his-pupil-less-eyes -imitation", 
and after having a few members of
Team Savagery clearly being 'in blackface' (I guess so
as not to offend anyone by only showing African-Americans as
cannibals), Jackson just decided that he'd erase them
from the film completely (maybe he got the continuity
editor drunk, or he figured that, after 3 1/2 hours of
film he couldn't spare another 30 seconds) - who knows?

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