Re: A slap on the hand

["Tim Williams" <twilliams_alpha@hotmail.com>]

In response to Michael Schmidt, a friend of a friend asked me to forward 
this to the list.


"I agree totally with Mr Schmidt.  I often like to wander the Bighorn Basin, 
digging up the biggest and sexiest fossils I can find.  Do you have a 
permit, I hear you ask?  Hey, I pay taxes.  I don't need no permission to 
explore federal land.  What is this, Soviet Russia?

But enough about those pencil-necked fat-cat bureaucrats trying to rob us 
hard-working collectors of our hard-earned cash.  Let me tell you about the 
dinosaur skull I exacvated.  Well, "excavated" is perhaps too fancy a word.  
I had a pick and a shovel, and I wrested that daddy out of the earth with 
the sweat of my own brow.  Unfortunately, a few bits fell off - who thought 
digging up an old skull would be so difficult.  And anyway, who cares if the 
skull is in less-than-perfect condition?  Except a bunch of nerds in white 
lab coats.  They'll probably want me to "donate" the skull to a Museum or 
something.  That's right, I won't get a cent for my labors.  What is this, 
Soviet Russia?

I tried to dig up the rest of the skeleton.  But heck those bones are 
fragile!  A few just snapped the moment I dinged it with the shovel.  Rulers 
of the Earth, my ass!  Some of those bones were dust by the time my pickup 
rolled up the driveway.  I couldn't get all the skeleton out of the ground - 
I'll leave that for those aforementioned nerds.

Not sure what I'll do with the skull.   I have a Japanese entrepeneur who's 
*very* interested.  (Ka-ching ka-ching, if you catch my drift).  He assures 
me he's a scientist - the walls of his mansion are covered in these 
feathered dino-what-nots from China.  He talks the talk - why he even knows 
what bone is what.  My garage is full of these damn bones, and heck if I 
know a thigh-bone from a hole in the ground.  Hey, what's the big deal if I 
make a bit of cash.  I worked hard for these specimens.  What is this, 
Soviet Russia?

My lawyer just called.  One of those fat-cat bureaucrats is on the way.  
Something about a warrant.  I swear, America's a police state.  It's OK, my 
lawyer says - I can get off with a token fine and community service.  I 
might have to pick up litter in Bighorn Basin for a week or two.  Hey, it's 
probably all mine anyway.

By the time you read this, my private residence will be swarming with 
pencil-necked Feds.  A man can't make an honest living these days.  What is 
this, Soviet Russia?

It's all a conspiracy!

Billy Bob"



_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE*  
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus