don't bother with the virus warning...

[Nick Longrich <nrlongri@midway.uchicago.edu>]

Oh god, please tell me this isn't another one of those stupid memetic
viruses (e.g. "good times").

        Judging by the hysteric sound of the message (filled with
exclamation points and capital letters), the fact it's not on CNN.com's
tech news (really now, it's "Worse than Melissa", and "announced by IBM"
and yet we haven't heard about it?), and the highly improbable sounding
claim that it infects both Mac and PC (I wish it were that easy to get
cross-compatibility, and Macs are wonderfully virus-free for the most
part), the "fact" that it works with both IE and Netscape, and the lack of
any real specifics (names?, Afflicted corporations? any real details?),
this is just another hoax.
        The irony is that there *is* a real  virus.

Think about this:
        What's a virus? A virus is *a set of instructions to make copies of
that set of instructions by hijacking a piece of replication machinery*.
It's just a bit of code- genetic or binary- that says "copy me" and takes
up a bit of processing time from its infected system to make a few copies,
which are then spread on to other infectable systems.
        Think about what happens here:
        I read an e-mail. It makes prophecies of doom (your hard drive will
spin so fast it will explode!), says "COPY ME!!!" and then I send on a
bunch of copies to others who look at it, some of whom follow the
instructions to make copies of the e-mail. The hoax itself is a set of
instructions that hijacks a piece of replicating machinery (my brain,
computer) and uses them to create and disseminate more of those
instructions (SEND ME TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!).
        In other words, the hoax itself is a virus, but one that works on
brains and not cells or (directly) computers to function. If that sounds
like a cool idea, go check out the SF novel Snow Crash.

        What would be a truly dangerous virus would be a wolf in sheepdog's
clothing- a virus claiming to be a warning about *itself*, so people would
deliberately pass it on to each other. Who knows what kind of mayhem that
would cause.


Oh, and how 'bout them velociraptors? Cool, huh? (<- feeble attempt at
dinosaur relevance)

-N


>This isn't dinosaur-related, but it is probably important nevertheless.
>
>> >>                      BRAND NEW WARNING !!! PLEASE READ!!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>>
>> >>> > >Subject: BRAND NEW WARNING !!! PLEASE READ!!
>> >>> > >
>> >>> > >>
>> >>> > >> > PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE YOU HAVE AN E-MAIL
>> >>> > >> > ADDRESS FOR.
>> >>> > >> > If you receive an email titled "It Takes Guts to Say Jesus"
>> >>> > >> > DO NOT OPEN IT.
>> >>> > >> >
>> >>> > >> > It will erase everything on your hard drive.
>> >>> > >> > This information was announced yesterday morning from IBM; AOL
>> >>> > >> > states that this is a very dangerous virus, much worse than
>> >>> > >> > Melissa," and that there is NO remedy for it at this time.
>> >>> > >> > Some very sick individual has succeeded in using the
>> >>> > >> > reformat function from Norton Utilities causing it to
>completely
>> >>> > >> > erase all documents on the hard drive. It has been designed to
>> >work
>> >>> > >> > with Netscape Navigator and Microsoft Internet Explorer.
>> >>> > >> > It destroys Macintosh and IBM compatible computers.
>> >>> > >> > This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know
>> >>> > >> > about it. Pass this warning along to EVERYONE in your address
>> book
>> >>> > >> > and please share it with all your online friends ASAP so that
>> this
>> >>> > >> > threat may be stopped. Please practice cautionary measures and
>> >tell
>> >>> > >>anyone
>> >>> > >> > that may have access to your computer. Forward this warning to
>> >>> everyone
>> >>> > >>that
>> >>> > >> > might access the Internet.
>> >>> > >>
>> >>> > >>
>> >
>> >
>> >
>>